I bought a coffee for someone else today. I was at the counter of Tim Hortons and had placed my order, and then people started lining up behind me. I dug into my wallet for some money to pay for someone else, but for some reason I couldn't buy a coffee for the person behind me in line. I don't know why it made me so uncomfortable, but instead I gave the cashier an extra $2 and said it was for the next drive-thru order. I chickened out I guess, but I don't really want to be acknowledged face to face after being nice to someone.
Ridiculous, isn't it? I have a big problem with thank yous. Not saying thank you; I say that all the time. My problem is when people say thank you to me. It makes me embarrassed to receive gratitude. I wish I could just be nice and go. Maybe I should work on that.
The Tim Hortons people (3 of them), all said how nice it was and that's great and such, to which I said I had committed to doing something nice every day this year because I have a blog. It was an excuse and not even a good one. I am so ashamed!
It made me question why I would feel awkward if someone expressed gratitude, and I really don't have an answer. Then it made me laugh, because why on earth would someone incapable of being thanked make a resolution like mine? So in this situation there is really nothing I can do but follow my mom's advice for everything: Get over it. She's a brilliant lady, my mom. Sometimes we have no choice in the matter.
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